Murphys Law

I believe in Murphy's law. It wasn't a choice I made one day, I didn't sit down and sort out all the rational reasons. I, like most cynical Americans, just sort of fell into counting on the bad things in life to appear. Part of my spiral (I won't say up or down) into this darker outlook on the world must of course be attributed to my parents. Those who constantly harp on subjects of never being used, never being bested, never giving when you could be taking, in short the American mottos were my words to live by growing up.

Still there is a time to put away childish protections. Murphy's Law has been built to keep me safe. Sort of like an emotional bubble wrap soaked in fecial matter. It stinks but it does the job. So what if I did put it away? What if once in a while I stepped beyond a few of my safety nets and brazenly admitted some things? What if I started saying:

Excuse me, I like you. (And prayed to God someone liked me back)
I am happy right now. (And stopped holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop)
Things seem to be going well. (And didn't expect a car to fly through my apartment door)

In other words, what if I let the good in my life? What if, not only did I let it in, but I didn't try to ignore it's presence while it was there and didn't try to protect myself by not enjoying it so it wouldn't hurt when I lost it? What might happen then?

I have no idea. I've never done it before. I was told that unless I learn to take risks (emotional risks) I am never going to get out of a stuck place. Okay, that reasoning makes sense to me. So, I am fulling entering into "the present" and I am intentionally leaving out all my fears and worries:

I am happy.
I have people I enjoy talking to.
I am excited about moving.
I have had dreams about a future which doesn't suck.
There can be more. And I can conqure that too.

Scary enough for you? It sure as hell is for me. But here we go, from a broken down, dysfunctional past, into a completely unknown future, I'm going to avoid the both of them for a bit and bite down until I see the present take shape. Because thats all I can know for right now.